linedal

Long time since I wrote something here. Many different things are happening and its all going so fast. Even last time I was home I didnt have time to really get a rest, to sit down and let the clock turn slower. It feels wrong. I dont want my life to go in that paste. I dont want to miss the small moments. I need them for the hard times.

The title is true. A true mayhem began for me. I have never in my life been so stressed about feelings before! feeling it so hard on my body, feeling like i didnt have any controll, not having a clue of what was going on! so much stress! and was it worth it? no. it all ended, there was no future for us, so what was the point of my living hell??? nothing! it was all for nothing! Im not doing that bullshit again. Im done with it. I dont care. theres no man out there for me. and it doesnt matter, i know i can have a good life without one, espesially after him. it wasnt worth it. so Im letting the world know that it sucks. try proving me wrong.

baah... everything is hanging over me like a dark cloud in a moonless night.. everything seems so impossible. and there is no easy escape in sight. I know what I have to do to get where I want. but I also see its a long and hard road, and it will take time. And my biggest fear is that something comes destroyes it all. because if it do, I will have nothing to live for... and that scares me. so I cant fail. but I wish that something in this situation would go smooth soon, a boost of some kind... but for now; hard work ahead.